When she was born the doctors did notice a slight heart murmur. Of course they scare the crap out of you and tell you all the things that it could be. I know they want you to know what you're in for but having a baby is scary enough in itself, let alone the fact that you have to take this little human home and you alone will be the only thing helping them survive. So yeah on top of that we get to hear all of these things that a heart murmur could be. On the day we went home they still heard the murmur and said to be sure to have her doctor check it at her first appointment. It was all such a haze, we just wanted to go home and I was confident her doctor wouldn't hear it once we went for her first check up.
Fast forward to Wednesday. She was born on Saturday at 5:08pm so if we're gonna get technical here (and I am) she was just shy of four days old. So yeah we're talking itty bitty newborn. So we take her to her doctors appointment and she hasn't gained weight but lost more and they can still hear her heart murmur, so now we have to go to St. Peters. Here I am just have given birth waddling around, my hormones are all over the place and they want to take my sweet girl and look at her heart. Oh and then we had to go to Belluve to get her blood drawn because she still looked a little yellow, yeah that's fine you can just throw that in there too no big deal! It's amazing how something so little can literally turn your world upside down.
This is my girl getting ready to go to her first doctors appointment, little did we know it would be an all day affair!
A week later, back up to her birth weight!
I held it together until I had to call my mom. I broke down and just cried. Anyone else get like that, where you here your moms voice and you loose it? Yeah that's me. I was scared. I didn't know what they were going to find and of course I could only think of the worst. I probably have the best husband, he held my hand the whole time and just kept saying it was going to be ok. He wasn't worried at all. So we get to St. Peter's and I had him take her to get her ekg and her ultrasound, I just couldn't do it. I didn't want to see what they were seeing. I just needed someone to tell me what was going on. She was great. Really didn't care at all what they had to do to her, it didn't hurt her so she was all good. They finish with everything they need to do and the doctor comes in and says she has two small holes in the bottom part of her heart. They aren't really affecting anything, they're just there. The heart murmur you heard was just air coming out of the holes. We had to come back a month later to check on them. We didn't get home that day until almost 5 o'clock! What a day, nothing like all that for an initiation into motherhood! Talk about an emotional roller coaster, thank god our baby was so mellow because I was a hot mess.
Before you know it we're back at their office a month later, this time she wasn't so mellow. She was much more aware of what was going on and didn't appreciate everyone touching her. Turns out the holes were getting smaller and even if they didn't go away completely she would be fine. Although her doctor was fairly confident that they would completely go away he said she wouldn't have restrictions on anything that she wanted to do, she would be just fine. Just like Scottie said. Fast forward to a year later and they're gone.
A month later, getting bigger & much more alert.
Today we took her for what would be the last time to St. Peter's Hospital. Of course we got lost and went to Albany Med instead, which made us almost a half an hour later to her appointment. All I kept thinking was "Great, we're going to get in there and they're going to tell us to come back. We're over 20 minutes late and that was that". Thankfully that didn't happen. Oh and did I mention Nella threw up on the way there. Yes you read that correctly. All over herself and all over her car seat, threw up all of her breakfast. We're not sure if it's because of the car ride (Scottie was driving a little fast and we were turning a lot) or what. She was completely fine all morning and after that too. And did I mention I didn't have any extra clothes! Yes that's right of all the times to not have extra clothes it was now. Luckily we had her winter coat (that she wears in the snow) in the car, so we took her shirt off and threw her in that and went off the appointment. Once we got to the right hospital everything looked familiar and we were able to find the office fairly quickly. So we went in, her got her ultra sound and her ekg and that was that. The holes were all gone and we wouldn't have to come back again! I was relived to say the least.
One whole year later.
Hanging out at the doctors!
First Birthday!
Talk about stressful. Once we went back at her one month check up and they said they were getting smaller I knew she'd be ok. But this is life. You get these trials and you power through them especially when it's your baby. If you don't who else is going to? Who else is going to wipe their tears away, who else is going to cuddle them like you do, who else is going to kiss away the pain for them? You, that's who. My girl did so good today and I was proud. Despite getting lost, despite the throw up she did good! Oh and in case you were wondering cleaning throw up out of a car seat is yet just another initiation into the lovely world of motherhood. It may not always be roses but I wouldn't give it up for anything in the world.
Our big girl today! Love her to the moon & back!
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