A little reflection.

I can't believe it's December already! December 8th to be exact. Which means its my favorite cousin's birthday. She was my maid of honor, and is one of my best most cherished friends. I couldn't imagine life without her. Now that we are older, we've traded sleep overs for game nights and dinners. I love this girl with all my heart and am so proud of the woman she has become. And yes you will always be a year behind everyone else! (She always hated being the youngest of the group)

 There we are. My beautiful maid of honor & I.

 Had to add this in. This is one of my favorite pictures. Adora made this picture.

Crying.

And crying again! All happy tears. 

My second family. 

Another one of my all time favorites. Love these beautiful women.

Can you tell we love each other?! Lol!

Ok so now that that's out of the way let's continue. It's been like a week since I last posted and I've been thinking......a lot. [Please stop reading if you don't want to hear my rambling] We've decided instead of getting me a new car and Scottie getting the blue car, we are switching gears. We are saving up to get him a truck. First we wanted to just get one off of Craigslists. We were planning to spend about $3,000, and that can get him a fairly decent truck. But of course he wants one as soon as possible and of course he found one. We only have $1,000 saved up right now so he went to the bank and asked for a loan. Just a small one, only $2,000 and we could pay it off in less than two years. No big deal. Well of course you have to jump through some hoops just for them to tell you no, you can't do it on your own you need a co-signer, a strong co-signer mind you. And bless my parents hearts they couldn't do it because they've signed their lives away numerous times already with all of the school loans my sisters and I have out between the three of us. Scottie's parents said no per usual so we were back at square one. We're going to look today at some small dealers. Hopefully we can find a cheap one, and get financing. We just need someone to have a little faith in us. We can afford it no problem (not to say we are rolling in the dough because that is certainly not the case) but we just need someone to give us a chance. I wish people would see that we aren't going to screw them over. They're not going to get burned. I wish people could see that we are responsible adults who are trying to make good decisions, trying to start to build up good credit. Everything just has to be so difficult. So here's to hoping we find something. Something great, that he loves and that I can live with the price.

In other news we are getting our tree tomorrow! Whoo hoo! Our first Christmas tree together (yes that's right- our Christmas tree, NOT a holiday tree) in our first place. It's going to be lovely. And I can't wait. I can't wait to put the lights on it. I can't wait to decorate it. I can't wait to look at it every night. I can't wait to get home from work and turn on the lights and look at all of our ornaments. I think I'm going to make a book of all of our ornaments, saying when we got them & who gave them to us. With pictures of each ornament to go along along.

I want to have an ugly sweater party this year. Or maybe a "North Pole" party. Not sure just yet what would entail but I'll think of something. Some corny games to play, some silly crafts to make. I just want it be fun. I want people laughing and having a real good time. Keep that in mind with any party and I'll think it'll be good.

WARNING: Emotional me is coming out, prepare yourself or just stop reading. Sorry this post is so long. :)

I'm writing this in hopes it will help me to "let go". I know I need to stop thinking about it. I know it's going to happen when I do stop thinking about it, stop stressing about it. I need to realize I can not plan this. This isn't my plan, this isn't Scottie's plan, this is God's plan. So last month I totally thought I was pregnant. I was reading all these different symptoms that women had when they were pregnant and I thought I had them all. I was nine days late for goodness sake. Not one or two or even three but nine days! I took I think five pregnancy tests. All negative. The first one I thought ok maybe I took it to early. The second one I took on Thanksgiving. Negative again and I cried. I cried like a baby. I knew I had to stop obsessing. Then I talked to my sister who said she got a false negative with Adora so I had a little hope. I waited three days and took another test and got another negative. I was just mad now. I couldn't understand it. I couldn't wrap my head around it. I mean not to be crude but we had sex like everyday. I just didn't get it! I felt like all I saw was pregnancy commercials, all I heard all the radio was stuff about pregnancy. It was so frustrating. I was trying not to be think about it, but it was so hard! So I waited again and took another one and again it was negative. I know at this point you probably think I'm a crazy lady and I even started to think that.Then two days later, I got it. I got my best friend back. NOT. Ugh being a girl stinks sometimes. When I got it I felt like it was mocking me. It was laughing at me, sticking it's tongue out. The whole nine yards. "Oh yeah, you thought you were pregnant well take this!" It was awful but it's gone now and we're trying again. And I'm just enjoying it. Not thinking about it. I felt like I had to write this to everything out of my head. And it feels good. I'm ready for round 2. So bring it on baby, we're ready.

Ok that is all. At last this post is over. I really have to go because my lovely husband will be home from work soon and we have to go looking for the perfect truck. And I need to re-do my nails. Tried to be awesome and put trees on my nails- didn't work out so well and now I have to take everything off and start again. So annoying- but at least I tried. :) Until next time......